Thursday, August 1, 2013

American Woman

Ok so my kids are too cute. Here's another story about our crazy interactions. Sorry in advance!

In the car on the way to day care for the day me, H and L. The song, "American Woman" by Lenny Kravits comes on and I couldn't help but rock out. It is a great song when you don't hear it too much! Right? You know, it is a cover originally a hit in the 70's by The Guess Who and then in the late 90's (I think) Lenny Kravits comes out with this rocking cover and makes Sarah Jessica Parker famous again...and whatever commercial they were both in all dressed in white. (back before fast forwarding through commercials) I don't know, it made an impression, what can I say.

Anyway, I'm rocking out. The kids think I like weird music since it isn't Maroon 5 or Taylor Swift. H says it's not really music if they are screaming (sounds like my mom back in the day) or if on the off chance we listen to a really Rock song I get the snide "Anger Management dude." comment as the finger moves toward the radio settings (yes, I still listen to the regular local radio in the car).

And we get where we are going and the kids start to bicker as kids do, rotten kids.  So I start singing over them. "American Woman - stay away from me--he, American Woman - mama let me be-he"

So we are getting into the realm of almost being seen in public with your mom. OH NO. And they quiet down, hoping I will too, we're walking closer and closer to the building where at any moment someone could come out and see Mom totally killing this song that is weird to begin with. I mean, tensions are getting high.

If I knew how to attach a photo or a video I would. I'll have to try it next time.

Mom: American Woman - stay away from me--he,
L: (looking at the ground, eyes averted) No
Mom: American Woman - mama let me be-he
L: No
Mom: Buh-bye
L: No
Mom: BAHHHH-Byyyee
L: No
Mom: Tell you what I'm gonna do
L: No
Mom: Gonna leave you mama
L: No
Mom: Bahh-bye
L: No
Mom: Bahhhh- Byyye
L: No

I pretty much got it out of my system by then, I guess they figure, its gonna happen, best to duck and cover.

H says, "So that's the song I should sing when I go to college!"

Love it.

Monday, July 29, 2013

I could totally rule the whole world!

Hey all.

My girl is such a hoot. I'm loving spending this summer with her. She is 11 and has confidence and wit and love (and some not so great stuff too, but mostly great stuff!) This story is a conversation we just had regarding a confidential letter she just received from the medical insurance company.

She was snug as a bug on the couch when her brother brought in the mail claiming there was something for her. Keeping in mind she is 11 and usually only receives mail around her birthday, she was started out pretty excited, but when she saw it was a letter from the insurance company, marked "Confidential, intended for addressee only" she got pretty freaked out, then just plain confused.

There was a bit of a tussle in that (for some unknown reason) the girl is a rule follower, she wasn't sure her parents should/could read a confidential letter not addressed to them. We assured her we could.

It is a typical form letter, surely sent en masse to those with injuries occurring recently.  She was playing in a yard and fractured the little bone on the pinky toe side of her foot. No big mystery, no big to-do, she did get one of those clunky boots that inconvenience the wearer, but those things really do work! Keeping your foot in the proper place to heal. The biggest mess up was me not believing she'd actually done damage to her foot that night and not taking her to the doctor until nearly a week later. 

Her first response was, "No one hurt me...." We looked at it together. The insurance co had processed medical benefits on your behalf for the treatment referenced above.....dated 6/7/13, we want to know if this treatment, "occurred as the result of an accident or injury for which another party may be responsible. That party may be responsible for the cost of your medical care."

My first response was, "I don't beat my kids!" (of course I didn't say that out loud, wouldn't want her getting any ideas) My second thought was, "that party might be responsible for her medical care??? Wouldn't I be telling them this --  if that was the case?  People need to take a chill pill.

Was the patient's treatment the result of: Auto Accident, Work Accident, Injured on someone else's property and Other/Illness. (Notice, no option for being a normal healthy kid running around in the dark.) ((Not to mention the kid is a kid and unemployed, she had a big eye roll at this one.))

Two Thirds of the page is about how it is someone else's fault and claim numbers and attorney contact information and then finally under Other Information the question that should have been asked at the beginning of the letter, Are you pursuing a personal injury claim? No. Are you going to? No. Sign, date, phone number and yes, address. "Do I have to put my address mom? They mailed the letter to me at this address. That is dumb."

So this whole time she is saying, "but no one hurt me!" We argued over the date of the injury because the paperwork said it was 6/7/13. We got out the calendar and remembered the correct date. She was appalled they didn't even get the date right. I'm not so surprised. She was very concerned about correcting the wrong information and giving the explanation for why it was wrong and what had actually happened and how that wasn't anyone's fault but her own. I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed with my kids personal responsibility ethics. "Why can't people just do it the right way?"

We filled out the form, I assured her that the simpler the better.  We get to the bottom it says to call a phone number for help. She suggested we do that. Why on earth would we need to do that? After all the back and forth about it, what was the point? She was positive that someone was going to receive the improperly filled out form and return it to us to be done correctly.  I patiently assured her that the person receiving the form will glance at it once, see that we are not suing and file it.

She looked at me with one of her famous, "seriously?" grins and said, "I still don't get it." I told her to put it in the self addressed stamped envelope (that they were so proud of). She shook her head as if the world were in some serious need of improvement and said, "I could totally rule the whole world".

(Pause)

"It would be awesome!"  


I laughed out loud.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

19 something

I was talking about our future trip to New Mexico with the girl. There was some conversation about traveling to Carlsbad Caverns and Roswell to see the bat flight and the aliens so I relayed it to the girl. She was curious as to what the bat flight out was. I explained that it was when all the bats fly out of the cave at the same time. Moving on,

"to see the aliens????"
"yeah, Roswell, you know.... where the aliens are?"
"never heard of Roswell...."
(Her dad is a HUGE Alien conspiracy theorist) "you know, Roswell, where the aliens landed like in 19......63? you know, Roswell! (note that I'm not the alien-interested person)
"never heard of Roswell and probably because it happened, in, like, a million years ago, in, like, 19 something"



I relayed this to my hubby today. He didn't find the humor in the fact that I said "landed" vs. "crashed" and "1963" v "1947".


I stand corrected.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Conference

It's been a while but I keep thinking of you! So I'll be brief.

While relaying the plan for this evenings events I told the boy that we'd (mom & dad) be going to his parent/teacher conference.  The boy says, "Oh! She'll say I'm good" then he adds on, "She'll say I've got to keep my hands to myself."

What? Internally, I start to freak out! Everything becomes slow-motion and I start to ask myself all these critical things about my parenting; He knows better doesn't he? I've tought him better than that, haven't I? Why hasn't the teacher contacted me if he is having a problem? What kind of thing is he doing? I don't want my kid to be that kid! I stop what I'm doing as my head whips around to face him directly, "What?"

"She'll say that I need to keep my hands to myself," he says innocently, barely noticing my full attention focused on his face.

I play it cool. "And why would she say something like that?" my heart beating louder than my brain is thinking, anxious that our world is about to come crashing down.

He says, "They all need hugs."