Safety 1st

Ok so I consider myself a pretty good mom. Aware enough of the bad things in the world to let the kids know bad things are possible but not in a way that would scare them silly.  Well, I kinda messed that up tonight.

AS you probably already know we were at the Twins game due to Haylee's school choir singing the National Anthem. It was very exciting for a 4th grader. So it turns out that it is getting dark earlier and earlier so on the way out of the game, away from the bright stadium lights, it was dark out. We are in the city and we go through a parking ramp structure tunnel, as it is the city they have dampened yellowed lights throughout the streets so you can just see far enough to know you won't be hacked down by a machete wielding stranger.

My mind starts developing a cheap storyline to the next horror movie where the unknowingly arrogant suburbanite family walking back from the "expensive" Twins game, probably have a couple bucks in their pockets, at the very least a couple rings and a nice watch, maybe a pair of good shoes and righteous teeth.....but then again, I have this sort of sick morbid humor so I decide to use my spidey senses for good rather than freaking the crap out of myself.

So, being a good mom and seeing this learning opportunity I lightheartedly and fairly softly tell the kids that thinking about safety first, none of us should ever go down barely lit tunnels by ourselves.  why? (well dont these kids know about bad things, what is wrong with them....I think to myself, oh yeah, that's my job.) So still laughingly and trying to convey confidence in our safety as a group (perhaps I look around just a touch more nervously than I should have) I say non-threateningly, gently (learning opportunity remember) "because sometimes bad people who do bad things could be around the corner". I want to be honest, not gloss it over, and I want them to be scared enough to know to be safe and don't want them to become immobilized by the potential fear (because I have a morbid sense of humor, and they are too heavy at this point to carry around) and scare the crap out of them.

So Erik and I are aware of our surroundings, see (and try to ignore) the guy peeing up against that wall across the street, Erik says its time to cross the street, I pointedly say, probably not yet, Erik looks past the street lamp and sees the ---- lets say groupies --- hanging out in about 5 spots of what would be our pathway should we take that route. There are other Twins fans around now but just measly women and wildly unprepared children (what good is that?) but they are still kinda far away. So we stay on the same side of the road and at the well-lit corner some grungy, unwashed dread haired dude with very glassy eyes is trying to stop us; asking for a handout; other normal but rough night owl types come crossing the street on their merry (evil) way... I'm holding Haylee's hand, Erik holding Logan's, doing what we can to portray non-judgement of others and confidence that we weren't going to all die very painful, horrific deaths tonight, all the while continuing mundane, usual conversation.

We get to the parking lot, get in the car are laughing and joking about normal stuff and after a brief moment of silence we hear a small voice from the back say, " Mommy, can we sleep in your bed tonight?" why honey? "cuz I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have nightmares". Logan pipes up, "I'm already having nightmares!"

So, me, even at this point, not realizing the trauma I've just inflicted will cost thousands in therapy, say oh? (laugh) why do you think you are gonna have nightmares? (ha, ha) <Playing it down ALWAYS works right? That's how parents do it right? You educate, you play it down, you take it on yourself so children do not know the horrors of the world. Yeah, that is how you do it...right?!?>  Haylee says in her very best sinister, whispery, crouched over creepy old villain voice, "because bad people are hiding around every corner, waiting to do bad things..."

Erik and I chuckle, look at each other and almost exactly say "yep, that is pretty much what I said".


"No seriously, can we sleep in your bed?"

Uhhhhmmm, oopps?

Who wants to bet when the kids are older and out on the town with their friends at some point in the future, about to reasure their friend that they will be fine walking down that dark alley by themselves; they'll take a couple steps away from their friend and then they will remember the time mom scared them (and they had nightmares for weeks...)with the creepy voice that bad people hide in the dark corners, waiting to do bad things. I don't know, doesn't that just validate the point?

So, the moral of the story.  It must be ok to be crazy as long as it is as a mother rather than being bad crazy -- hiding out in tunnels.

PINs

This week I went to two Parent Information Nights (PIN) for school. They basically recruit for PTA and try to sell clothing items, teachers let you know the kids schedules and what we as parents can do to ensure success with our children. So these are the questions the "getting to know your kid" sheets ask. Name, phone#, place of employment, job title, siblings (including their ages and homeroom teachers and school, if different) dentist, doctor, emergency #, if the parents are together or separate, what are the schedules for the kids outside of school, and the last question always is "What else do you think we should know about your child?"  Ummm, EVERYTHING.
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As a manager I've got to wonder how that came about -- probably some righteous do-gooder mom nagging at the principal, office ladies and any one else who would listen saying "you know it just doesn't seem like you want to know the children, shouldn't those get-to-know-you sheets have SOMEthing about the actual child and their personality.....I don't understand why it matters if/where I work. The only question left to ask is inventory of my house! So, to come full circle, probably the principal who has listened to this all 7 years of her children being in the school says to the teachers...."it is mandatory you ask about the child, just throw in there something about 'what else do we need to know' and leave it at that! Eyeroll, dang parents tell us every sloppy, goopie bodily function of their children anyway!  Come to find out that principal retired at the end of the year, went somewhere where there were only single people w/o kids, who didn't want kids and would scowl at the sight of children. (well I had to finish the story!) I'm sure there are no teachers and principals that hate kids, (except of course my 2nd, 5th, 8th grade English and 9th grade geometry teachers, other than those all the others love kids.)  The good thing is it takes all kinds. I couldn't do it. I'd rather manage 17 completely different people, counselors no less. If you are in the social services side of life, you know what I mean......

Thank you to all those people who take such good care of our rotten little people! Teachers et al.

kids say the darnedest things

I've got to keep writing all these things down. I've actually forgotten some since I've not written them!


Me: was that you?
Logan: no, that was the invisible ball.
Me: oh, invisible? hmmm, well, what color was it?
Logan: red......uh I mean invisible color.

I said to the kids that I know so many people who are having a rough time and a lot that are getting divorced and I'm sad about that. Logan asked what divorced was. Haylee says haughtily, "That's when they just throw away their wedding rings!" (pause, I can hear the cogs turning for both of them) then Haylee says sincerely, What a waste! pause (as I laugh) and she adds, "I mean of time too!"

Boys

The boys are watching cartoons this am, some batman thing, L asks who the female was in the show, Erik ~ the all knowing comic guy tells L who it is (so super important I can't even remember) and follows it up with a ghoulish reply, "Watch out for Women, boy, they will suck out your soul!" (Maaahaha!) My little baby boy says tentatively, "Like.....my.....mommy?"

Last weekend a bunch of us were up at the lake gathered in somewhat of a family reunion. Now, just a little bit about Duluth for those of you who don't know....or at least the part we are subject to. If you think about Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox,  take Paul, with red plaid flannel shirt on, shorten him by about half (but the same weight), change the ax to a fishing pole and add the ever-so-delightful Tim Allen "Ahr, ahr ahr" and that pretty much sums up the men of Duluth. They have fancy man-caves, they go out on boats for hours together, they bring each other beers, they gossip about neighbors and throw sticks into the water for their dogs to retrieve. They change shoes and hats depending on the weather, talk sports and secretly (yeah right) smoke cigars and think they are super sneeky. Then to top it all off they make jokes about "Man tests" and "woman's work" -- now, if you look at this paragraph again, I coulda been talking about a bunch of "chicks", as they say.

The women however are sturdy, hardworking, take no BS kinda women. They know the men are joking, roll their eyes and make sure all that needs to get done, gets done. The men might make it for a week (Duluth women at this point again rolling their eyes would say, yeah, more like a day, an hour, 5 minutes they'd say) or so without his partner but after that.....completely helpless.  (I guess that is most men...) Anyway.

So back to the story, the gaggle of men go to play golf one day. Logan is the lone male, left with 3 adult women, and two pre-teen girls.....we were going to take the "kids" fishing off the pontoon. Logan asks me, "Does this mean I get to drive the boat?" (he is 6 mind you) "What do you mean buddy?" I say. He says, "Well all the other men left, does that mean I get to drive the boat since there are only girls left?" As I vow to never let my little boy get initiated into the man-club, I choke out...."You don't think the women can handle it?" He knows he's stepped in it by now and starts backing away from me, he gets that ornery glint in his eye (exactly like his mother's) and says with a grin....."Uhmmm, no???"

Rotten boy.

So the real life solution, mama's don't let your baby's grow up to be cowboys or Duluth "men".

First Timer

So, I got signed up, filled in all the profile info, sit down, roll up the sleeves and get writers block. Ugh. Oh warning, English majors I like parenthesis, the words "so" and "and", and run on sentences, so you'll have to deal. oh, and commas too.

I am a mother of 2, wife (of 1), leader of a company, sometimes student of an MBA program, board member of an association, friendly, sarcastic, dry, well-rounded (pun intended), workaholic.

I am on a continuous journey to "find myself" which isn't quite right since I didn't really "lose myself" to begin with. I am constantly learning and being educated by life. My children, as little reflections of their parents, are my greatest teachers.

I turned 36 this month, which isn't especially meaningful except that a person could get really depressed thinking that their life could be 1/2 over by now, assuming one didn't think that since they were 25! So where does that leave a woman who has so many time-consuming roles? It leaves us crazy and with multiple personalities, multi-tasking at its finest, to the point we loose our minds and put our keys in the fridge and call our kids by the dogs name (which they'll remember and I'm sure the story will be "Mom ALWAYS called me by the dogs name, she was so".....I don't know, damaged in some way).  On the other hand, 36 is just right, when we have some work/life/family experiences, we start "settling in" to our skins and finding new furniture rather than the hand-me-down mattress that your grandma used for longer than you've been alive and "it's still good". But really other than new mattresses and settling skin, what have we done for ourselves lately?

I keep changing between we and I because I am part of the community of women everywhere in the world who do the best they can to make it work, every day. I am completely stressed out and finally forcing myself to pay attention to me.  Having emergency removal of my gall bladder in March reminded me that life is what I make it, not just one obstacle (managing a team, dishes, laundry, conflict resolution for brothers/sisters that keep "Mom s/he's mocking me", choice of cake or an apple) after another day to day handling what comes my way with a (sparkling white) smile, a little toss of the (Natural Instinct colorized) hair over the bronzed bare shoulder, in the latest fashion sun dress, and freshly manicured nails (yeah right). So what am I doing about it?  It's a process. (Kinda like reading that last sentence! Regardless, You get the point)

I'm lucky to have a supportive husband and family to help me keep balanced. There's only so much they can take until they let me know (usually in that whiny, I need mommy to snuggle voice and 'tude about how "daddy lets me", or say letting the dishes pile up until h.e.-double hockey stick freezes over). Not a complaint but definitely a shift in gears. Solution = shift gears, family is more important than anything else. Get balanced again. You can always get up early to catch up on work (or dishes)!

So this was kinda fun. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

P.S. *some or all parts of the title of this blog may or may not have been recycled from a motto at work
P.P.S. *does it count as recycling if they are still using it?